I love you Lord, and I pray

Surprised I can still breathe another day

I know I’ve lived a crazy thuggish life

And I trying to get away

I’m trying Lord, that’s what I have to say

Lord there have been many times I’ve come to you

And Lord I know you sigh for the things I’ve done and do

I apologize, forgive me for my mistakes

I know I’ve hurt others and you

By the shaking of my faith

I’m not trying to take Lord

I’m trying to give

I’m not trying to die Lord

I’m trying to live

I’m not trying to kill

I’m trying to protect

I’m not trying to neglect

I’m trying to respect

I’m not trying to hate

I’m trying to love

But it hurts so much

When I don’t feel it from above

I don’t know how many years I have left

Before what comes next

But I hope you accept me

In the hour of my death



The appearance of disparity

They know not of the clarity

I did

It was me

I wasn’t wanted there anymore

It’s ok

This usually happens

Sooner or later

They realize the chaos

That comes with my presence

The curse that I carry

I blame no one

Only myself

They are innocent

For I am a bastard

And I feel horrible

For the damnation that follows me

Yet people follow me

For better or worse

And I am the worst

So for them

I must better myself

So I do not drag them

Down into the hollows with me

No, I must uplift them

As they uplift me

I must show them

My gratefulness for their loyalty

By taking them higher

I’m sorry for the loved ones I lost

Because of my selfishness

Because of my stupidity

I hope they can forgive me

I wish I was better for them then

But I will keep trying

To be better for them now

Tomorrow and onward

And I’m sorry for the suffering

That they had endured

Of watching a man they loved

Become a monster they feared

I’m sorry M…

For however I wronged you

I’m sorry