WISHING FOR HEAVEN

I hate this

I wish I could be with you

I miss you

Your hug, your punch

Your tickle

I remember all the nights

We’d play fight

In the bedroom

I never thought for a second

This would be something

That would end soon

I wish you knew

All the feelings that I felt

And I dealt

With the chance

That there was nothing else

Than me loving you

And you

Not loving me

But it’s ok

I’ll keep indulging

Living in a fantasy

And keep hoping

For a dream

That’ll probably never happen

Even if I have to cry

While you

Keep on laughing

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON

WHAT A DAY

Day to day

Spending time tucked away

Loneliness and solitude

Living life in the cage

What to say

Nothing

For there is nothing to talk about

No happy events

Or joyous time spent

Just living alone

With a mind twisted and bent

Talking to myself

The wall is my best friend

Speaking to inanimate objects

Having wonderful conversations

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON

HELLO

(Ring…ring…ring…click)

“Hello”

(Click…beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)

I’m sorry I had to call and hang up on you

I just had to hear your beautiful voice

One last time

Before you leave me forever

I just needed one last memorable hello

So I don’t have to think about the goodbye

And why we could never be together

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON

A HARD WORD TO SAY

There is a word that is

Hard for every person to say

And when said

It sometimes relates to

A saddened or bad day

And if that’s the cause

It is usually hated

To be heard as well as said

And for some of us

It’s a word that we dread

It leaves us lost

Because it will sometimes deal with a loss

A loss that may cripple us

Leaving our emotions to pay the cost

Leaving our minds slightly unbalanced

And unable to focus

It’s a word

That we have all at some time

Asked ourselves

What this word really is

And we all wonder at one time

How we should say it

And yet for me

No matter how many times I have said it

It is no easier

I still find trouble in pronouncing this word

And if you’re wondering

What this word is

The answer is

The answer is

Goodbye

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON

ANOTHER LONELY WALK

Every step I take

I stop, I take a break

And think

Should I really walk away?

And say

That this is

Nothing more than a phase

But then that empty space

In my heart starts to ache

Because deep down inside

I know it’s a mistake

To just walk away

Another lonely walk

I’m walking in a circle

Need time to think

Need time to talk

To myself

And go over my thoughts

Question

Will I acquire love sought?

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON

Cycles

Last night I held a gun to my head

And recited a prayer

As I laid down to rest

And I thought about what if

I pulled this fucking trigger

And let off a round of lead

I’m not married and I don’t have kids

So who will be there?

To collect all of my shit

Cause let’s be real

I’m worth more dead

And people would rather have my money

Than the love I have to give

If I had one cent

For every drop of blood and sweat

I’d be a fucking billionaire

For all the labor that I did

And what do I get

Nothing but fake love

An ocean of lies poured from damned lips

When all I want is the truth

Even if that makes me a masochist

They say that poisoned hearts never change

But I never remember venom

Flowing from these veins

I never remember being the reason for your pain

But I was always the one who took the blame

So what happens to a man?

After all the mistakes

After a break

With what I thought was fate

I guess I take a couple of pills and liquor with them

Another victim of withdrawal symptoms

Wrapping in the blanket of addiction

And letting all the side effects kick in

As I give that revolver a spin

As I go through the cycles

Do I, or do I not really like you?

Do I choose life?

Or do I squeeze and bite you?

Do I stay in hell?

Or do I fight for heaven?

Do I chase the dream?

Or let the darkness set in?

As I go over the words I said

Our father

Who art in heaven

Hollowed be thy name

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day

Our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

And let us not into temptation

But deliver us from evil

Deliver us from evil!

Deliver us from evil!!

Deliver us from evil!!!

Fuck this!

I got shit to do

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON

 

DEATH

1

Embrace death with open arms

Let not its grip slip from hold

With echoes of memories

Fear it not

This is your time

Escape

Allow the mist to fill you up

Drown

 

It will not blister

Bruise or harm

It is life that wrinkles

Makes you old

It is that which lives that gives to rot

Embrace it

 

The reaper will always plow the fields

You are warmer now

Existence is cold

Let those fears of pain be forgot

Born to die

This is our fate

Kneel to hades

Wear his crown

Open wide

Embrace death

2

Listen to these pounding cries

To thee from tortured souls arise

Listen to thy master’s bellow

Know you well but not thy fellow

 

Liquid warmth kiss cold hard faces

Now escaped from natural places

Thoughts scattered round pondered mind

Ask if this fate will soon be thine

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON