UnRedeemable

I wish I knew how to control these feelings

The pressure is tearing my heart in half

Even if I continue to smoke blunts

Take puffs into a misty dump

I can’t forget this pain that I have

All the clouds in the light

And the blue in the sky

Can just die because I am not glad

Yes I’m mad, yes I’m pissed

I have no heaven, I have no bliss

And could you please explain to me this…

Tell me, am I stupid

Or blinded by emotion

Everything I had is gone

Drowning in the ocean

Devotions lost

With friends pissed

And abused

A brother left confused

The others

Shocked by the truth

News is often

Disturbing to the ear

The only thing I fear

Losing those

I love so dear

The future is unclear

The mirror

Is just too foggy

Reflections that are seen as blurred

And

Less profounding

Elevated grounding

On pavement like winds

Every current has a purpose

Every factor has a trend

Every person with a friend

Has a cardiac to mend

And as the water bends

And descends into gravel

It reaches for the heavens

With food for these mammals

It dangles, it strangles

It hangs between the spectrum

The layers, it wavers

It favors to forget them

I am looking for redemption

But I cannot have it

No!

I cannot grab it

No!

Even if I beg them

It’s poison to my skin

It burns from within

It scars from without

Refraining from this bout

To encounter more doubt

BY OSCAR TORRES LEON